Yesterday morning was not a typical morning…..when I usually wake up from a 8 hour restful sleep with no interruptions. Instead my night was filled with waking up in the middle of the night, going in and out of dreams and my body feeling anxious throughout the night.
Why now? I was waiting for some big news that would change the rest of my year. I woke up feeling overwhelmed, worried, scared, you name it. I sat on the couch with my usual morning tea with thoughts racing through my head, “What if things don’t work out.” I sat there listening to my mind repeat negative thoughts and ruminating about the past events.
I felt the emotions of blood pumping throughout my chest and butterflies in my stomach. I couldn’t do any work or think about anything else.
I WAS STUCK – MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY.
I know you are thinking – that’s so silly. Doesn’t she treat anxious patients? Shouldn’t she know what to do.
Well my friends, the anxiety is real….ESPECIALLY if you have PCOS.
In times of stress and worry – your stress hormone increases to its MAX! In the hormonal pathway, progesterone will eventually convert to cortisol if stress is high so that your body can deal with the response. This decreases progesterone leading to a relative increase in estrogen – known as estrogen dominance. DHEA will also increase which is a precursor to testosterone known to be high in PCOS woman.
When cortisol is high, hormones become less effective. And when progesterone and estrogen are not in balance is when we see a lot of symptoms related to PCOS – such as irregular periods.
So what did I do?
I had all the intention of getting up – getting the yoga mat out to get some zen. I even thought of pressing play on my computer to listen to some music hoping to distract myself.
I DID NOTHING. My body wouldn’t move.
SO WHAT DID I DO?
I thought to myself, why can’t I do anything for myself right now? I know I can do something.
All along I didn’t realize that I was trying to be MINDFUL.
I had been sitting there, with the emotions and feelings. Allowing them to come and go. I was aware of all of body sensations happing – ie. tight chest, palpitations, short breath. My attempt to relax was by trying to take deep breaths through my abdomen. Even though I wasn’t 100% calm I knew it would eventually pass and I would be okay.
As my feelings became more stable – I also took some herbs to calm my body and mind – this helped tremendously!
Did I get through it? I did…eventually I was able to relax.
If you experience anxiety. You are not alone. Even people like me go through experiences of anxiety. It is all about how you relate to it and get through it.
Hope this brings peace to anyone experiencing anxiety out there! ☮
Thank you for sharing this – so open and honest. I too have PCOS and have had times of anxiety along the way. Your post is helpful in explaining how to get through an anxious time and what is happening to your body at the time.
Glad this post resonated with you Kathryn 🙂 My hope is to share my personal PCOS experiences with women, so that having PCOS doesn’t define who they are, instead it strengthens their acceptance of themselves.
Ann, this is great. You have touched on so many of the issues that I face everyday. I was diagnosed in March with Polmsoyyitis and to be honest, emotionally I have not handled it well. I am so down on myself and I hate myself for having to depend on my family for everything.I agree, small steps to someone else, are huge steps to us. I was able to do laundry the other day for the first time in a very long time. I never thought I would be excited about laundry but I was cuz I did myself.This blog is wonderful! Thank you!